Happy Mother's Day

I am going to break one of my rules today. I am going to post something extremely personal and I will name my children in it. I do this because I want this to transcend time and computer failure... So here it is...

Love, kindness, security, devotion, support, nurturing, responsibility, understanding, courage, and affection are but the tip of what it takes to describe the word mother. When you think of your mother the floodgates open and emotions and memories consume you instantly. I can think of only one other word that may have that type of might when it comes to invoking such feelings and that is wife. Luckily for me this person is one in the same, which makes the word even more powerful - Mother.


You gave me the single best gift that I have ever known, your love. Then you gave me a family. Elliot with his iron will and raw pure heart, and Owen with his sweetness and innocence, all the while you steer them silently to become the best little men that they can be. I know they will forever seek your sheltering love and when it is their time they will seek someone like you. You are a mother and you know the encompassing life that your mother lived to give you the life you have now. There is nothing that will give you greater understanding than being and doing what you are trying to describe.


Kindness, you display this second by second, with your patience and gentle touch. Security, there is no other word that a child cries when they are hurt or feels threatened other than Mama, regardless of how big or strong their fathers are, they will always seek the shelter of their mother. Devotion, this dedication became as secondary as breathing as soon as you heard those little baby boys cry for the first time. Support, often coupled with patience, you teach and guide with a slow and steady heart always giving the pat of conformation and corrective hand when needed. Nurturing, subtly passing on wisdom through love and kindness, all while providing for their every little need, and making sure that their tracks are headed in the right direction. Responsibility is by far the largest and most underestimated characteristic that you own. From the first beat of their hearts to the first breath they took, you are on call, to be there every second of every hour of every day until the end. Understanding, a mother’s understanding is like the crystal ball of life. You see the actions they are taking and while you let them take their own paths while nurturing and supporting, you can see what will be, and the empathy of letting them make these choices for themselves and the discoveries on their own. Courage, knowing that this, all of this will be a struggle, that there is no answer that is the correct answer, encouraging when you don’t know for certain the outcome, but if they fail, you will be there to pick up their pieces and help them mend. Affection is love’s right hand and you parade it on them with such splendor. The laughs, and giggles, and gentle kisses are but mere tamed forms of your love for them, and then there is your Love. The longest lasting most powerful emotion that can ever be conveyed with three simple words, or the softest of kisses, or even the rub of a back. This is the hardest word to describe in adequacy because your love doesn’t know limitations, it doesn’t know fear, it doesn’t know how not to love, and it doesn’t know when to stop. You are the only person that will give complete unconditional love with no boundaries to them and I will love you always for this.


This role that you are doesn’t have a right or wrong, and mistakes are going to be made, but together they will be made out of love. Your mother knew this just as hers did. So when the doubt, uncertainty, and unassertiveness become too much, remember that the book you have is blank and you are the author. There are battles that lie ahead that have unforeseen conclusions. You will teach, protect, warn, and harbor, but even when your nights watch is over these little human beings will reflect what they have learned from their mother.

You will always be there for them. Through the scraped knees, the bumps and bruises, what will be the broken hearts, and other trails, always watching, always comforting. Being a mother, well this is a debt that has no weight and has no limits, but can only be repaid by love, love and appreciation that can be shared now and as they grow. You are forging two little beings to be the best they can be, and they will know, understand, and love you for this. All these things that you do, you will sacrifice time and time again, and repeating when necessary.

You were their first kiss, their first teacher, and the one they love the most. So when you tuck them in at night remember that they depend on you as much as you do them, and squeeze them a little bit tighter with those hugs.
And I know that you know, but just in case you haven’t heard it today. I love you.

Freedom

When are we free? What is freedom? What do we have to obtain and or sustain in order to have freedom? As a country we keep this as a mantra and declare it to be truth, but other than those that we have declared with our independence what is it?


I define my freedom as the ability to wake up without fear. Fear of foreign threat, fear of going hungry, fear of not being able to protect the ones I love, fear of not being able to provide for those that I must, fear of persecution for an idea, belief, or non-belief, fear of not being afforded the liberty to roam this land, of confinement, slavery and the fear of not being able to let this struggling mind prattle on with words and a voice that those that chose to listen...actually can.


I envision the loss of this freedom and it's a colorless world with no hope or ambition. It destroys all before it can blossom. Sounds are muted or monotone, even the food is stale and bland. Life is grey and there is no new life just sustaining until after all is wrung from this lifeless society and it ends.


I love where I live. I love those that paved the path that is now my normalcy, and the sacrifices made for those they loved. I love what I know to be free.

Steadily Suppressing with Perseverance

Patience, idle contentment with no visible distress. Composure within oneself, be it taking yourself to another world, disconnecting, or merely letting the emotions wash past you.

Over time with similar actions being unfolded before you will condition and numb. Some take it as a pause for their turn to reengage and then there's those that are never truly there to have what should have been the need or use for patience.


As fast as we live today the idea of patience is an admirable notion and even rarer when displayed. Waiting is becoming a past time that few can appreciate let alone exemplify.


Patience also has variable degrees and is weighted by the person, situation, time period, and circumstance. This is yet another measure of time that we either pacify or neglect based on our preferences or conveniences.

Nine months is either the majority of a year or a mere glimpse when a child is born. Eighteen years is close to a fifth of a century or only the beginning of a teenagers life. Thirty years of marriage is a life time or just like yesterday. Five generations or ten decades or a century, they are all the same and yet can feel leagues differently.


We all gage things differently and expect what we expect from our past, but just like everything else that we have control of it too can be conditioned and practiced to be to the desired settings. You just have to be patient.

Last Chance

Desperation is a foul, under-minding circumstance that corners even the most resilient. The exhausting of all options, both virtuous and reckless without regard for any one thing other than personal salvation, leads to poor results. The hungry, the tired, the meek, the broken, the powerless, and the weak all stare down the nostrils of desperation.

 

Beauty can still be found in this type of dire episode, the acknowledgement of one’s own mental, and the choice. Some find the courage, to grab it by the horns, and some take the horns in writhing pain. When those that want nothing more to do with losing and sacrificing have had their fill, they seize the horns, glare at the beast with determination, and find a conclusion that weighs heavier to their favor. Then we have those that do not know what the bottom looks like. They have not wallowed in the torment, or tasted the bitterness that comes with every bite, or even smelled the misery that will make them convulse as they are forced to bathe in it.

Both will learn from this result, those that grab will refuse to ever position themselves that way again, and those that were speared will suffer until they find the gumption to confront their cowardice. The choice in this is the most significant, the flash when the decision must be made, any decision, no decision, the right or wrong, but some action is required, immediately. What will we chose? These are some incredible glimpses of life.

When we gaze down and see our feet at this juncture, what choice will we make? Will we chose to be a matador, or to submit and take the horns, or will we wait until the choice is made for us?

No LOL, bad LOL

I miss the written word, not the two hundred and forty some odd characters that is used in today's common interactions. Perhaps it is the romance that language can convey or the imagery we invoke with our thoughts or maybe I'm exhausted from translating text speak / leet speak / abbreviated / shorthand babble. From time to time and in the rush I can see the practicality of it, but for this to be the new common language...

When the processes around me change I accelerate my critical thinking to quickly adapt and overcome the new obstacles or problems presented. It is not lazy or a gift only I can do; we all do it, some faster than others. I understand the why's and how's this came to fruition, and I often scold myself for using it. I even badger myself for using contractions and the over use of them. I know this has to sound like the grammar police in full patrol, but it takes work to keep a diction that is quite extensive; reading, learning, and investing the time in yourself to do more than merely three letters here and two letter replies.

I loathingly abhorred, and rejected  texting upon its birth and even in its infancy. I could see the belligerent path to dumbing down it would take yet not my wails nor my disdain for the abomination would be felt, and I too would succumb.


After rereading the proceeding I realize that I am simply mourning. I greave for a language I know and love and stand by helplessly as she is desecrated until the only thing left is corrupt consonants and offensive vowels. Good bye sweet language. ROFL doesn't have anything on our spiraling on the pavement in cachinnation (SOTPIC...ftw).

The shade of someone else's shadow.

Model, the mold, the example, a replicated positive entity; yet all we are is what we aspire to be.

There are so many expectations that we are predisposed to believing is our burden and our responsibility that we sometimes never leave room for spontaneity.

We are a culture posed to walk the previous line, to mind our manners, respect our predecessors, pay our dues, and for what exactly?

 Lead by example, but whose? It sounds like slaughterhouse mentality of our individuality. This is not a revolt, this is not a revolution against anything other than the process itself, and before I carry on further... I love rules, I'm no anarchist, but I don't desire a future where my impact is the shade of someone else's shadow.

This is not a shot at those that taught us, because I know the regret of their finalized decision, but this is a plea to ourselves to allow the disappointment from their eyes to fall unabashed.

We owe it to ourselves to be the best, to be genuine, and unconventional... They taught us that much, but they are our reigns to take.

Bet you didn't see that coming.

Unexpected conclusions are what? Surprises? Outcomes that we never foresaw? What is it about these experiences that makes us giddy as a child, jubilated, humble, and even embarrassed?

Throughout life we get tossed the proverbial curve ball. An unfamiliar circumstance, some that force us to make decisions, others are made for us, but regardless they are events that catch us off guard.

I began recollecting the ones in my life and concluded that they were actually life altering. Most things have a certain pattern of predictably to them or at least are habitual to an extent and they can be gauged by frequency and quantity, but these rare turn of events are quite amazing. I am unexplainably grateful for these happenings and would not be the same without them.